In my mind these books are related:
Mostly highlights I’ve made and my responses. Like breadcrumbs for my future self.
I know I’ll come back to this and either celebrate the same perspective, or find a refined one.
The technology would lead to patients getting higher-quality care with more consistency. We were making a rational move based on a well-developed business plan. Slam dunk, I thought. weren’t ready to have their world rocked. They were openly opposed to using the technology and skeptical about the purported time savings. This small ripple of skepticism led to waves of resistance that churned the entire system
The technology worked just fine. The resistance to the change, however, eroded the potential efficiency it was designed to create. The study made that visible. Drama generates emotional waste, draining the organization’s time and energy. It contributes to destroying the most considered and strategic business decisions.
It is an unreliable narrator of experience because its judging nature separates us from others. It delights in the drama it can create. The Buddha called the ego the source of all suffering.
Venting is the ego’s way of avoiding self-reflection.
Our suffering does not come from our reality; it comes from the stories we make up about our reality. Doing so creates cognitive dissonance, because toddlers can’t hold two desires at one time. Typically, they will drop the old toy for the new one.
Leaders have been trained to use logic and reason in the face of an invented story or to wheedle and bargain. Leaders can invest great energy in helping others see reality, but if someone is stuck in ego, it’s probably not going to work.
The impact of a leader does not come from what he or she tells team members but from what he or she gets them thinking about. Effective leaders ask questions rather than providing answers. The questions are key. Great leaders don’t tell people, they don’t direct people, and they don’t order people around
As his boss, I could have just said, Well, figure it out. Just make it work But that kind of abrupt, aggressive directive hooks the ego and leaves people feeling frustrated and disempowered
Accountability is death to the ego Another way to avoid the ego’s trap is to stop with the sympathy and use empathy instead
After a long day and a late flight, I had what I jokingly call compassion fatigue. It’s that exhausted state in which I don’t have the energy to be nice to people. I just wanted to get off the plane, into my car, and to the hotel
Your circumstances are not the reason you can’t succeed; they are the reality in which you must succeed
Reality wasn’t hurting us. Our unreadiness for what was next was causing our suffering. The source of our pain came from the resistance to doing what was required for the business.
ask again: But why are you suffering? It’s true this project has changed significantly and requires something different of us, but what is your true source of suffering
When asked for my absolute best advice ever, I reply, Stop believing everything you think
First, people make their own choices about motivation and inspiration, so for leaders, it’s an impossible responsibility. Second, the traditional management philosophies leaders have been taught to accomplish this impossible task actually engage and enflame the ego This is a more effective, and respectful, way to manage others. Employees learn to see clearly that their success, or lack of it, is not up to leadership or circumstances. It is in their own hands
Similar to in The Empowerment Dynamic (TED). Choosing to be a creator instead of a victim.
Just like I’m on at sea, sometimes in storms… It is up to me to find a way back to shore. That or signal to passing ships/others for help.
The mark of a great leader is when employees begin using these great mental processes even when the leader is not around or no longer is in the picture. Skills, mind-sets, and competencies become portable, and employees can find success wherever they land
prompting team members to use better mental processes and collaboration to spark creativity and innovation. Discussions shift from why we can’t to how we can
Stress is usually a signal for a growth opportunity
The philosophy is self-study, asking yourself about yourself, getting quiet and thinking about the answers, finding clarity about what is true and where the narrator in your head is leading you astray. Insights bubble up in these conversations, and leaders are the facilitators of the self-learning. Self-reflection is a great way to grow personal accountability
Projection, if it goes unaddressed, can become a default state of mind. It sparks victim thinking, low accountability, and resistance to change.
Leaders can inspire breakthroughs by making thinking visible and concrete. Capturing the conversations in a concrete way, by using a whiteboard or flip chart, can reconnect people with reality
Leaders can desist with the arguing, convincing, and constant directing, which rarely works and doesn’t generate commitment. In fact, it’s an exercise in emotional waste The idea is to help the employee process the story first and quickly bring you up to speed so you can provide help or approval or facilitate a decision. Leaders can more clearly see development opportunities
Engagement is a choice, not something a leader can do for others. Worse, the philosophy embedded in most engagement strategies is flawed in three dangerous ways
This point bears repeating: Engagement without accountability creates entitlement
Happiness is a choice, and it’s correlated to accountability. Engagement comes from the accountability individuals accept in the accumulated choices they make in the circumstances they face
I would remove the obstacles that kept highly accountable people from performing. And if an employee’s love had to be purchased, that was a great opportunity for cost-cutting
This notion that all opinions have the same value is the first thing that needs to change. If we really want our engagement surveys to drive workplace results, then we need to be honest
The choice to write better papers is more likely going to be aligned with natural consequences, like a failing grade or having to retake a needed class. The student’s competency in paper writing will be driven by his interactions with a reality that says his professor won’t accept a late paper or that his parent won’t pay for classes in which he doesn’t score a C or higher
But they aren’t asking the right question. The engagement of whom? If I’m engaging my least-skilled and least-accountable employees, does the fact they love working there contribute to the success of the company
It’s not engagement but accountability that gets the credit for good results
Your happiness/engagement is not correlated to your circumstances but to the amount of accountability you take for your circumstances
It was the people who weren’t ready for what is next who were dissatisfied, not the ones who were eager to make progress. That’s why the accountability factor is so powerful. It helps you listen to the right people
How can we address the individual competence and lack of readiness issues in our organization? How can we address the organizational issues identified by high accountables? What action do we take that drives improved business results
We learned that accountability wasn’t a skill set, it was a mind-set. It is about committing, without conditions, and staying the course
Explicitly asking for commitment is like getting informed consent. The verbal agreement becomes an informal contract
Leaders teach resiliency when they ask questions that help people self-reflect rather than jumping in themselves to solve problems. Good questions can inspire people to look for alternative answers, to find resources that they have not yet explored
The most resilient people develop large networks marked by positive relationships, established partly by their own willingness to help others in times of need
People who take ownership don’t spin stories or generate drama. They are the ones who are hungry to find a new approach, a different tactic that would lead to better results. They want to know where to grow next
It’s a wonderful thing to make an account of and take ownership for results, but continual learners are those who can capitalize on their mistakes. They’re willing to commit, with confidence, to different results with clarity around what will be required of them to do it
You don’t need to rescue people unless they are truly at risk or the greater good is threatened. Otherwise, let the chips land where they may, but be ready to shine a spotlight on where they landed
Feedback short. Self-reflection long
The linchpin of accountability is a private, meditative state of inquiry that invites an unvarnished look at one’s thinking and subsequent behavior. That’s because self-reflection comes from a place of seeking truth, leading to an inner discovery rather than trying to force it through external pressure
If you think about events or feedback that were life-changing for you, they probably sprang from a period of being able to work through defensiveness and anger until you could see the truth and the ways your actions contributed to a difficult situation.
Today, individuals who lack computer skills have extremely limited employment options, while an inability to anticipate and respond well to change isn’t necessarily considered an obstacle.
Leaders who believe that change is hard tend to overmanage and underlead. They develop and employ methods that stunt people’s growth and set the table for habitual resistance.
They spend hours crafting the ideal communication matrix. And by doing this, they reinforce a culture of learned helplessness.
Change management is focused on making change least disruptive for employees. Business readiness is focused on making change least disruptive to businesses.
That perspective is a major distraction to work that needs to be done to produce great results. In fact, employee evaluations, if you keep them at all, should be centered not on past performance but on readiness for the future.
We inquired about the size of their networks, what current communication methods they used, whether they were up on new music, what innovative ways of working they had tried. How up-to-date were they on the news in their industry? Were they citizens of the modern world or still living in the past?
Another common mistake in organizations is to turn everything into a formal major change initiative. The kinds of disruptions that require roll-out road maps and communication schemes often happen because people weren’t paying attention to the big picture in the first place.
Effective leaders help people understand that change is inevitable, necessary, and neutral. They coach people through the small, digestible downloads that create a workforce ready for what’s next.
People who see change as an inside job see themselves as victims. They see change as something that is being done to them. But change is coming because of forces from the outside.
Business readiness is the way to develop employees to have the agility and abilities to capitalize on change no matter what form it takes—marketplace disruptions, reorganizations, increased expectations, or changing needs of customers.
Business readiness ensures that change isn’t disruptive to the business. Employees who are focused on business readiness step up willingness, participation, and shared responsibility for anticipating and responding to change.
They take responsibility for sustaining their state of readiness so that their expertise and efforts are constantly directed to the future instead of clinging to the past.
“It’s important to move quickly from information to interaction by asking questions that bypass ego by inspiring self-reflection. The idea is to get to a stated commitment from employees.”
“I am a firm believer that working with the willing gets you much further, much faster, than trying to coax aware-but-resistant people to get on board with a change. And once you ask for willingness, beware of sending mixed message by giving the unwilling time and attention.”
“While I was in the kitchen negotiating with my little terrorist, the ready and the willing were on the boat, roasting. Their initial enthusiasm was converting to impatience and irritation.”
“When it happens to me, I express gratitude for the support and point out how powerful it would have been to hear it in the room, in the moment.”
“Leaders can move people from passive silence to active advocacy by identifying low-drama individuals who tend to say yes. They can create a picture of what visible, verbal advocacy looks like and ask questions for self-reflection”
“They no longer see themselves as victims; now they actively capitalize on the opportunities the change presents. They take responsibility for building the skills and competencies they need to be fluent in now and are ready for what’s next.”
“Employees are the ones closest to the marketplace, and they can be invaluable resources for helping the organization know what’s next. Drivers aren’t waiting for the leader to tell them; they’re on top of the situation. Drivers constantly scan the horizon. They’re the scouts. Drivers become the internal disruptors—the preemptive, innovative thought leaders.”
“True drivers talk about how to make change work and how it will work, with a constant gaze to the future. Even the best performers and technical geniuses risk becoming irrelevant if they’re not constantly scanning the horizon for potential bumps in the road and trends coming down the pike. They don’t just spot them; they act by innovating and removing barriers.”
“The current state was that many healthcare workers weren’t even willing, much less trained, to care for the people who got such diseases. And unless an infection was treated and contained quickly, there was a real risk of an epidemic that could devastate the medical community and surrounding populations.”
“Telling leaders that it’s their responsibility to get buy-in is another piece of failed conventional wisdom. Not only does it give leaders an impossible burden, but it assigns a passive role to the person to whom buy-in belongs.”
“In business, buy-in is not an option that can be ordered up like leather seats on a car or a playroom in a house. It’s a condition of employment, a core job responsibility. It is the way people are supposed to show up.”
“The role of leaders is to help people get clear on the fact that if they want to play on the team, buy-in is a prerequisite.”
“If an employee intends to stick around, the question goes back to “Then what is your plan for buy-in?” No third option.”
“Employees who work with great mental processes add value and rarely generate emotional waste. They find a way to move forward quickly and help figure out the “how” after a decision has been made. Otherwise, the option is to step away and free up a space for someone who will.”
“Opinions are usually an attempt to stop the action; expertise is used to keep it going. Opinions focus on why we can’t. Expertise is at play when employees work toward how we can. In my experience, people with many opinions are often the ones who are light on expertise. Offering opinions is usually a subtle form of resisting change.”
“In today’s world, most decisions are made without consulting everyone who will be affected. They can’t be. Consulting everyone is an unrealistic expectation, and it is a bad business practice. To get great at buy-in, people need to get super comfortable with the role of being informed, not consulted.”
“Strong business cases get whittled away when leaders allow preference to overrule potential. Attempts to create more palatable circumstances stunt people’s growth, keep them from stepping up into greatness, and ensure they are even less ready for what’s next.”
“Check your own ego before you attempt to engage another’s.
> Be gentle. You want to wake people up, but not by violently shaking them up.
> Go slowly. Take great care as you disrupt thinking, spur self-reflection, and help people develop the capacity to move more skillfully into reality.
> Make the call to greatness. Work with those willing to answer that call.
> Don’t forget: Human potential is limitless. A workplace characterized by consistent creativity, endless innovation, and readiness for what’s next is possible. Peace and happiness in the workplace are achievable. As emotional waste is eliminated, work becomes less effortful and more joyful. Use some of that recaptured energy to celebrate accomplishment and great results.
> Summon up all the compassion you can. We are human. Any of us, at any time, has the ability to move into ego. You will screw this up, but only every day. Forgive yourself. It’s a practice. Try again.
> Forgive others early and often. Don’t be afraid of the do-over. When you notice the times you could have been better, be transparent: “I reflected on our conversation yesterday and realized that I let you down as a leader. I colluded with you instead[…]”